Live | Laugh | Love | Art | Music

Been playing Dark Souls 2 since my spring semester finished up. Played the last other two and I had a blast with them. So you can say I have the mind of what to expect when things are going to smoothly. With that said, I"m playing and I have nearly 19 thousand souls and its early on so you can say I'm really nervous about every corner I turn. Even out in the open I walk with my shield up. Trust me, if you played the game, you'll understand.

So I'm at a time where I haven't encounter any boss thus far and its been awhile. I come across a fog door (An entree, either another room or boss) and I'm thinking. I'm thinking real hard, should I enter or should I get rid of my souls (Buying and Trading). Having to play its predecessors, I know damn right its another boss but I ignore my thoughts and went right in... BIG MISTAKE ! It was a boss, not 1, not 2, but 3... I was laughing throughout the battle which was short lifted. I couldn't believe it, that'll be the last time I second guess my Dark Souls knowledge.

I couldn't believe it when she finally told me that she acknowledged what I'm going through. She understands how difficult of a person she can be but for someone to deal with it was going to be challenge that she herself said she wouldn't put up the time to deal with. She asked how I am able to do it. I simply responded "love".

She gave me props for doing so and that she appreciated the fact that I stayed throughout the never ending journey of migraines and mind fuckery that was bestow upon me. I can't lie, there was times when I wanted to say fuck you, I hope you never find love, I'm done. But the moment I met her, I knew she was no ordinary woman and this wasn't going to be a walk through the park, it was more like one of those ninja warrior shows with obstacles that was difficult to get through. Without the proper physic and athleticism you were in no shape to get through the course.

Patience, patience was the key if you wanted to get with a woman like her. The moment I met her, I immediately sense just that from her. So I prepare myself, but of course preparation wasn't going to be enough to aid me, the experience was. It's been a year and here I stand, I'm glad that she knows and understands what I'm going through and it excites her, I'm the first guy who was able to deal with this madness. And it excites me as well, I'm thrilled to see where this ends up going, hopefully it's what I seek…

There was never going to be a us to begin with, I notice it after a while. "But you have to stay positive" that's what I'll tell myself… Then you reminded me earlier "It's been a year and so far nothing right." That is a mere understatement, it's been a year and so far I understand you a lot better than when we first started talking. I felt your struggles and learned/learning to help you coup with it. That wouldn't have been possible around the same time last year. We have shared plenty of moments that wasn't foreseen at first sight. This is no white flag, this is re-encouragement. I have to be the one to do it, it seems like you wouldn't dare lay a hand to help out (EGO). It's as you say, you have somewhere to go and so do I. Of course, but if you want someone, they'll try no matter the obstacles, why settle for something easy and given when you can work hard towards a migraine and difficulties because towards the end, the feeling of obtaining what you've wanted will forever leave an imprint in the heart.

So I started working on this back in junior year, it's been an off and on thing for me, didn't really know what I wanted it to be until I let someone read it. Their reaction wasn't foreseen, they suggested that I should make a book out of it. As a high school student, I laugh at the idea, but as a college student, the idea was spot on. I decide to title it EMO, so here's a brief sample…




 
          Black thoughts are dissolving but no light can be seen through all of the rubbish. Memories are marching throughout my mind, damn, where the hell is the disable replay button. It wouldn't have been this much of a stress if I had read the rules of love. Like hell, such a book wouldn't come to existence, and either if there was one, it'll be a great way to make a quick buck out of hopeful wonders.


          Striding in loneliness with nothing more but a loaded .44. Is this how I picture it happening? No, don't answer, it's a rhetorical question. Where is the land of gold? Why did she do it? Why is this... "Sigh", look at yourself, stop asking, better yet, start demanding! At 18 I assume life would be portrayed like what you'll causally see on a typical high school base movie; drugs, money, sex and partying. Boy have I been sleeping on the electric fence, it was all bullshit.


          High school is like one of those Harry Porter movies, the protagonist has his ups and downs and doesn't like who he is. But because he was surrounded by great friends who are more like family, he was able to do alright. High school is... The same in a way, I lost my train of thought there, I know there was a connection but anyways, I'm not much of a social butterfly so friends? Pretty much limited... Come to think of it, I don't know why I tried to put that together. I've been off my game lately, like putting in only a fraction of time into Black Ops 2. Any gamer would know that is defcon level five gone badly. Yeah, a serious case, when one mind is in this state, there's usually a common reason, a girl. Thus the only subject that can drive one mind insane.

Could you change my family? Could you change my purpose of being in this family? Could you change my purpose of trying to do something with my life? Could you change the personality of my parents? Could you change how the American system works?


Because it's selfish. I'm relying on you to take me to work after class but you never showed up. I have a few last straws before I'm fired because I'm always late to work. There are plenty of people right now that can easily take my place since they know how to be on time. My sister takes her sweet time with everything, I don't understand why since you're not working or going to school. At least do something right for your younger sister who's trying to have a future and not live like you by the time I'm your age. When I walked the distance of 9.6 miles from my college to my house, I surely didn't need my sister. I was trying to prove to my parents that I can't rely on her at all, it's stressing me out and it's not fair. Problem can be solve if I just get my car but nooooo I have to wait, wait and wait some more. Wait until I'm in the hospital…


I don't know why my mom feels bad now when it was my fault for doing that and with no purpose. And while I was walking, I got very emotional, how could they let that happen to me? What am I doing wrong?! I have to work today and it's difficult to stand. Sighs… My life really sucks right now…



I don't want to rely on somebody that talks to her mom like she talks to her friends, I don't want to be associated with that, if you were to ask me if that's my sister, I'll be shouting "HELL NO". I really can't figure the identity of this sister of mines, she's just living under the same roof as me, sleeping on the living room couch. With no boundaries, no goals to life or anything. I'm tired of hearing the way she speaks to my mom. I blame my parents for not kicking her out in the first place. My mom is too lenient and now there's a monster in the house that she can't be control. All my mom has to do is stop playing her phone, then it will force her to look for a job. All my dad has to do is stop bringing her food, then she'll panic because I know she don't know how to survive on her own. They are babying her too much and she's turning 25 in two weeks. Maybe I don't feel bad at all in the way she talk to her parents, it's their fault. Now they want to try to get her in the right path, I think it's too late, she has a mind of her own and she's not going to listen to her parents. It has to be a guy to do the job. Either her sugar daddies or whatever they are, it's too many I lost count. One of them will have to show her that if you want a good man then it comes with respecting your parents first. I really don't have time for this shenanigans but there's no way out.


I don't mind living like my sister, where she don't have to stress for school or work. Just wake up, watch TV, eat, and sleep. I kind of miss that life but I won't allow myself to live that way, especially at this age. She's living comfortable and it's their fault, but why do I have to suffering?

I have this beautiful need to have a boat load of indie music. I get tired of listening to the same things to the point I can figure out what song is going to play next. This so called "shuffle" has lost its need for usage.

From Surfer Blood to Dog is Dead, I think I've figured it out. The more absurd the name of the artist/band is, the more I'm likely to download it and give it a listen. Mostly likely I'll end up loving it until I abuse it ha :)

Nevertheless, you guys should go and discover some indie music before it becomes mainstream and gets ruin. Which is not the case for all, but I believe you guys can guest a handful to who it can relate to.

Here's a little glance...

Why do you insist on fighting against the feelings of love? Are you afraid that it'll take over your flesh and you wouldn't be able to control yourself? Sounds like a disease, which can easily be treatable if you allow that person in. You know that he wouldn't break your heart, he's too benevolent to accomplish such a feat. You basically knows how he operates. Ever since you met him, you guys have been inseparable. Long silent moments of just staring at each other, no words are needed because the eyes can perform the job better. You know you'll do anything to witness that smile, in fact, that smile was what started it all. The skin, soft flesh on the surface of the tissue. Every time there's a collision between one another, the eyes close shut, and the senses of the body is wide open to absorb the significant other. So I tell you, don't fight the feelings of love, embrace it by looking left, then right, left again. Then slowly you start to traverse your way towards him or her...